"Does My Anxious Dog Need a Leader?"

Many modern dog people, be it professional trainer or the recreational canine fanatic, bristle at the word “leader” in a dog training context. It calls to mind antiquated techniques like extensive yelling, owners biting their dogs on the neck and forcing them to the ground, and other such bizarre rituals of arbitrary intimidation. So why has this concept persevered, despite its history as a catch-all justification for trainers to physically and psychologically mistreat dogs (as well as their girlfriends, their mothers…)? 

It can also feel contradictory to imagine an anxious, scared dog and see a “boot camp” experience as a solution. How could the antidote to fear and anxiety be anything close to a “sir-yes-sir” lifestyle? Adding more stress, taking a dog away from its loved ones, and doing repetitive training “drills” can traumatize a dog. And yet, when done by a good trainer (who are unfortunately outnumbered by the bad), a bootcamp can “resolve” anxious behaviors. This is largely due to good leadership. 

It is not the concept of leadership but its misuse that is problematic. Take a moment to imagine all of the bosses, teachers, older family members, and other authority figures from your life. It will likely be easy to quickly remember what bad leadership looked like, but I want you to reflect on its conceptual opposite – either theoretically or, I hope for you, from a memory of an authority figure from whom you’ve actually benefited.

And now, I present to you my gut-instinct interpretation of good leadership. I think if I spent too long on this article, it could easily turn into a 5-book series about how to be a good dog trainer in every capacity. 

Grounded, comforting energy: Have you ever seen a dog owner hand the leash to their trainer, and the dog instantly becomes calm? While this can be simply due to contextually cued behaviors (new handler, new rules), it is often also because of the overall energy that emanates from a good trainer. A good trainer effortlessly matches the vibe needed for the situation – confident and calm, or authoritative and no-nonsense, or cheerful and motivating. Whatever the situation, there is a sort of vibrational tuning that is done by a good leader. 

Predictability: A good leader makes you feel like you generally know what to expect. This can come in the form of structure provided by a good leader, such as a daily routine or habits that you cultivate together. This can also mean predictable expectations and consequences. The rules don’t change from one day to the next, because that would be confusing – perhaps even anxiety-inducing. (See where I’m going with this?) 

This is the magic sauce in board and train programs or “boot camps,” and ensuring this predictability follows the dog home is typically the most difficult part of dog training.  

Direction: A good leader regularly draws positive attention to your good efforts and achievements, as well as actively redirecting or discouraging self-sabotage. A good leader should excel at problem-solving on behalf of the team, while also being able to assess when it is not overly burdensome and when it is even beneficial to let other people problem-solve on their own.

Effective communication is a big part of this “direction” (as well as consistent setting of expectations), which is why in dog training we focus so much on the mechanics of your body, voice, etc. – since we are trying to send specific messages to our dogs whom, at the end of the day, try pretty hard to get along with us but do not speak English (or Spanish… or Arabic… or Chinese… yet.)

Empathy: Empathy in a good leader can come from a  heart-of-gold type personality, if you will, but it also has a more practical side. If those whom you are leading are unwell, either due to a negative effect from your leadership directly or simply because they are struggling with other circumstances, that is going to affect your goals! 

I think that, inherent in empathy, is a mutual respect of the other being, too. You cannot fully, truly empathize with someone or some-dog unless you respect their perspective as valid and whole. 

A good leader can easily put themselves in other’s shoes, or winter doggy boots, in order to fully understand the situation and respond accordingly. When working with dogs, there is a line to be walked between empathy and anthropomorphizing. Maybe I should even be using a completely different word than “empathy” here – I’m open to suggestions! But we do our best reading body language and reflecting on a history of previous responses to guess what is going on in that little brain of theirs. 

Reflecting on all of this makes the macho bros (and bro-ettes – I see you, ladies!) seem even stranger, right? 

I often will not use the word “leadership” when I am instructing clients, because it has such a loaded history, and I’m not always sure what associations the person will have with it. I typically save it for my clients who are being overly meek and need to grow some backbone. But I do wish it didn’t sometimes feel like such a dirty word. It is interesting to think about what cultural values we hold as a society that end up transposed onto how we view and interact with dogs. I think that that would also need at least 5 books to explain, which I will leave for someone else to write.