How We Work on "Stranger Danger" in Private Lessons with Venus and Mars K9

"Stranger danger" can be very stressful for the dog, owner, and human attempting to befriend the dog. Oftentimes, people don't know where to start to solve the problems of fear-based barking, lunging, growling and snapping. But private lessons focused on stranger danger aim to reduce stress and thus can greatly improve a dog's quality of life.

How does it all work? This article will explain what a typical lesson series looks like when we are focused on stranger danger, fear and shyness with new people, leash reactivity towards humans, etc.

Note for long distance clients: While I do also offer virtual behavior consultations to help with stranger danger, this article focuses on describing in-person lessons.

Before the First Private Lesson: Gathering Information about the Stranger Danger

Before we meet, I have all of my clients fill out an in-depth behavior history form that allows me to get a better picture of the dog's life, personality, and the exact nature of the problems we're dealing with. We discuss previous training history, previous incidents of aggression, etc. I use this information, along with talking to the owner on the phone before we meet, to determine any level of safety risk involved.

Meet Outside and Go for a Walk Together

In order to make a good impression, I will introduce myself to the dog by meeting them outside. I behave calmly and at first don't pay attention to the dog. This is what most shy dogs want when they meet someone, and this technique helps me win over most dogs quite quickly. There are a few reasons meeting outside and going for a walk is so helpful:

Neutral Territory

Even if it isn't the primary thing driving the behavior, many dogs have at least some territorial instincts. Meeting outside first allows me to see the dog's behavior on "neutral territory" and thus is less exciting.

Less Pressure to Interact

Since I live in inner city Chicago, the dogs that I meet are mostly used to seeing dozens if not hundreds of people outside everyday, whereas someone coming into the home is a relatively unusual event by comparison. City dogs usually understand that there is not necessarily pressure to interact with a random human they see outside, as long as that person leaves them alone.

(I do also meet and work with dogs who are prone to lunging and barking at humans on walks, in which case we will focus much more of our work outside.)

Most Dogs Like Walks

On a walk, a dog has the opportunity to self-regulate by moving away and enjoying the sights and smells of outside. Being outdoors provides an easy alternative to not fixate on me, the stranger.

Continued Cheat Code: Meeting outdoors is often so useful that I provide it as a "cheat code" for owner of dogs with stranger danger. They can fall back on this technique even if the goal is to introduce their dog to new people indoors.

Exceptions to the Rule: There are some dogs who do worse meeting people outside than in their house: either because they are nervous outside in general and/or because they are "leash reactive" and thus the leash being on is a trigger.

Every training program is customized to the individual!

Assessing the Dog's Temperament, Motivations, and Triggers

Introduction to Me as an Assessment

Though the training dog almost always gets along with me much faster than a non-dog-trainer, I can still use the experience of introducing myself to the dog as an assessment. I observe their body language, test how the dog changes when I make eye contact or talk to them, and make note of what causes any outbursts.

Further Discussion with Owner

During our first meeting, we discuss in further detail what exactly has happened when things go wrong. We identify specific triggers such as environment, behavior from humans, etc.

Making a Training Plan

Once the exact triggers are clear – or as clear as we can figure out together – we make a training plan including:

• Exposure sessions

• Teaching the dog to look to their owner for guidance and protection (instead of lashing out)

• Establishing handler control even when the dog is stressed

• How to keep the dog out of trouble in the meantime while we work on behavior modification

• And more, depending on the particular dog and their circumstances

Muzzle Training

For dogs at risk of potentially biting someone, it is critically helpful to train the dog to tolerate a muzzle. Having a dog muzzled allows us to practice exposure sessions without having to feel like we are tip-toeing around upsetting the dog. A well-fitted muzzle allows everyone to behave more relaxed and confidently, because even if a mistake is made, nothing terrible will happen.

Exposure Sessions

For some dogs, being introduced to the trainer (myself) continues to be a productive challenge for several sessions. (Which can be convenient!) Once the dog is acclimated to me, we need to bring in helper humans – training assistant volunteers, friends or family of the client, etc.

Skill Building

It is very helpful for the training dog to have reliable obedience under distraction such as coming when called, looking away from a distraction, and being sent to "place"/their bed. "Place" in particular can have a lot of benefits for a scared dog – it can act as their "safe zone" when strangers are over, where they know they will not be bothered.

Reliable Introduction Routine

Together, we develop a specific routine for the training dog to be introduced to new people, based on their personality and needs. In general, there is comfort in routine.

Some dogs with stranger danger are fast to make new friends after some small adjustments to how they are managed. Some dogs take a long time to warm up to new people, but having a specific routine helps them gradually become less scared and more friendly. Some dogs permanently take a lot of work to accept someone into their inner circle. But in all of these examples, the owner gains a clear understanding of their dog's capabilities, and clear expectations are developed between dog and handler.

Neutrality Without Interacting

An important concept for some dogs with stranger danger is the simple idea of, "Leave this human alone if you don't want to be friends with them." Dog trainers call this "neutrality," which can also be described as aiming for "peaceful coexistence."

Keeping Up Practice/Avoiding Slumps

Especially in a post-Covid-lockdown world, I work with a lot of dogs that have stranger danger, and the human has quite a bit of stranger danger, too. Progress might stall out if long stretches of time pass where no one visits the home. It might be important to make a habit of simply having your dog present while you say hi to a neighbor or talk to a crossing guard about the weather. It's not exactly fair to ask our dogs to accept the existence of a new friend if the handler themselves is not friendly to others. Dogs are social creatures and benefit from seeing the humans act as confident role models.

FAQ About Stranger Danger Private Lessons

My dog is fine meeting new people outside but hates having them in the house. Is this still stranger danger?

A dog being afraid of meeting people only in their home may be scared because it is startling and surprising for a new person to suddenly enter the house. Many dog breeds were bred to be alert and suspicious to sudden changes in the environment, after all.

For other dogs, fear may be less of a factor in this situation than being territorial, also known as resource guarding. Dogs can also be experiencing "mixed feelings" of fear and resource guarding together.

My dog likes new people and then all of a sudden gets upset with them. Is this stranger danger?

There are a few possible causes as to why some dogs appear happy to meet someone new and then suddenly snap:

Just Wanting Information

Many shy dogs quickly approach people not because they want attention, but because they want to gather information about them – often by sniffing.

Conflicted Feelings

Some dogs are really scared but also really do want new friends. The dissonance of these two conflicting emotions can be quite stressful and can cause a dog to suddenly snap and "change their mind" in the middle of meeting someone.

Overwhelm and Bad Judgement

Some dogs have a problem similar to above but are not even so very eager to meet new people; they are simply involved in a bad habit that often gets them into trouble, such as flopping over to get pet and then suddenly becoming overwhelmed. I call this "bad judgement" and teach the dog to leave strangers alone until they are truly more comfortable and warmed up to them, because they generally need to calm down and acclimate to a stranger before being trustworthy.

Missed Warning Signs: The Dog Was Never Comfortable

Many owners miss warning signs of discomfort in their dog. There is a difference, too, between a dog tolerating an interaction versus enjoying it. Many dogs who are scared of new people sit down and stare off into the distance as they are touched. Many people think this is a happy dog – meanwhile the dog might be sitting there, scared to do anything, gradually becoming more and more uncomfortable. Turning the head away, "whale eye," and appeasement licking (aka "kiss to dismiss") are also commonly missed signs of emotional discomfort.

Pain and Physical Discomfort

Sometimes dogs who appear to enjoy being pet and then suddenly change their mind are suffering from undiagnosed muscle tightness, joint pain, etc. A clean bill of health is imperative.

How many lessons will it take before my dog is better?

While I would love to give you a specific answer here, this completely depends on the individual dog, as well as the specific goals. Fill out a contact form with more information, and I can give you an estimated training timeline.

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Venus and Mars K9 provides in-home private dog training and group class for basic obedience, puppy socialization, trick training, dog sport foundations, leash reactivity training, and other canine behavior problems. We travel most frequently to neighborhoods such as Humboldt Park, Hermosa, Logan Square, Avondale, West Town, South Loop, Downtown Chicago, Ukrainian Village, Bucktown, Wicker Park, East Garfield Park, Fulton Market, North Center, Lincoln Park, Lakeview, Roscoe Village, Irving Park, Portage Park, Oak Park, River Forest, Forest Park, Pilsen, and Bridgeport.