Top Mistakes Made by Owners of Fearful, Shy, and Anxious Dogs
Introduction: Why Are Some Dogs So Shy and Anxious?
It is true that some dogs have anxiety, specific phobias, and traumatic histories that change how they navigate the world. Certainly past abuse can make a dog fearful, but many dogs are fearful simply due to genetics and/or lack of exposure and socialization (especially early in life). I frequently encounter owners of rescues who make this questionable assumption:
“My dog barks at people with hats on. I think her previous owner wore a hat and hit her!”
What is more likely is that this Example Dog is genetically predisposed to nervousness, and she possibly never saw someone wear a hat before she was adopted.
Certain dogs such as guardian breeds were actually bred to be wary of novelty. It was their job to identify when something weird-looking approached the farm, so they could bark to scare it away. Other dogs end up with “bad nerves” due to chance, which is a scenario made worse by questionable breeding practices such as “backyard breeders,” or breeders who prioritize aesthetic over temperament.
Dogs who are fearful often require special training techniques and accommodations. That being said, here are the top mistakes made by owners of fearful, shy, and anxious dogs.
Letting Fear Be the Explanation for Everything
Plenty of behavior can be driven/motivated by fear. Dogs who are afraid might “act out” in order to relieve stress, attempt to de-escalate a situation, or create space for themselves. But dogs are multi-faceted, sentient beings. Even a fearful dog can “act out” due to:
Letting Fear Make Your Dog’s World Very Small
Some owners become frustrated or overwhelmed by their dog’s fear responses and give up trying to improve their coping skills. This can lead to a dog who is left home when they could have potentially enjoyed an outing to explore the world and make new friends. We professionals commonly employ a list of strategies, including targeted exposure sessions, so that you don’t feel like all you can do is avoid the problem.
Missing That Preferences Are Not Always a Fault
On the other hand, some owners refuse to recognize how much distress their dog is constantly in. If you are taking your dog everywhere and they are constantly displaying signs of stress such as pinning their ears, bulging their eyes, side-eyeing, panting, whining, startling/jumping, and not settling – these moments might be incredibly counter-productive to your goals if the dog is not able to “work through” and process their feelings.
Not all dogs are “patio dogs” who can visit any public place and be fine. Not all dogs want to make 100 new friends. Not all dogs can tolerate very noisy, busy environments. This is okay! Not every dog needs to be an “everywhere dog.” And when we are working on increasing dogs’ tolerance of stressful events, we generally want to implement a training plan that incrementally introduces challenges via baby steps.
Not Prioritizing Recovery
It can be surprising how long some dogs (and people) “hold on” to the stress from recent events. For example:
Imagine a noise-sensitive dog is spooked on a walk by a car backfiring. The moment is over in 30 seconds, and after walking for a block, the dog appears to look normal again. But then they run into another dog – which is not normally a problem. Because they were spooked so recently, our fearful dog lunges forward to bark at the other dog. This is an example of “trigger stacking” – the build-up of stressors over time.
Similarly, a more dramatic incident such as a night of heavy fireworks or a very scary episode at the vet can leave a dog changed on a biological level for days, if not more. Stress hormones linger!
For this reason, it’s important to prioritize rest and decompression for fearful dogs. This may look like taking breaks, sleeping more, chewing, licking, playing, and/or sniffing – depending on the dog’s preferred outlets.
Ignoring Health Concerns
The dog training and veterinary industry are catching up to the fact that health concerns such as pain can be a major motivator for fear-based behavior. A dog who has sore hips, for example, is definitely more likely to be shy and defensive when meeting a new dog. And it can be very difficult to diagnose pain conditions that are not caused by anything other than what you can read on a basic x-ray.
Similarly, it is often overlooked that common issues like picky eating and vomiting can indicate a form of doggy IBS. Many humans can relate to the feeling of feeling anxious and having an upset stomach. These conditions can go hand-in-hand.
It is a shame that dogs cannot tell us what hurts and where. If you suspect there is something wrong with your dog beyond what your usual vet sees, it might be worthwhile to investigate further with a specialist.
Misunderstanding Behavioral Medication
Some anxious dogs’ lives can be greatly improved by behavioral medication. I most often send clients to the vet when they have dogs who are generally anxious throughout the day to the point that they cannot rest and/or dogs who are very noise sensitive and constantly exposed to loud noises outside.
The exact details of behavioral medication need to be discussed with your vet or vet behaviorist. But even though, as a trainer, I’m not qualified to recommend specific medication etc., I always encourage owners to keep an open dialogue with their vet about the effect of medication, and be ready to experiment. Keeping a behavior diary can help you determine what difference medication seems to be making so that you can help your vet decide if something needs to be adjusted.
I meet an incredible amount of clients who have dogs who have been on behavior medication for months or even years, and when I ask them if the medication has helped, they tell me, “I don’t know.” A medication trial should last a small handful of months, not years. If my client dog is still regularly experiencing moderate to severe anxiety, and especially if they’ve only ever tried a single type of medication, I normally encourage the client to re-open that conversation with their vet.
It is also true that behavioral medication is not always the answer. Some dogs are prone to side effects that make medication not worth it. Additionally, some fear-based problems are due more to habit, lack of trust between dog and owner, or another cause that is not just a chemical imbalance in the brain.
Getting Lost in “Tips” Online
This is my new pet peeve, and you will likely see it referenced in many articles to come. The unfortunate reality of dog training right now is that many dog trainers market their business with “click-baity” hot tips. Because fear and anxiety can be complex issues that depend heavily on the individual dog and their circumstances, “quick tips” can cause more harm than good. I do not recommend getting advice on fear, reactivity, etc. on Instagram, Facebook, or Tiktok.
We Love Our Shy Dogs
We currently live in a world of fast-paced striving for success. Sometimes, our fearful and anxious dogs remind us that we need to slow down and take our time. Our shy dogs teach us that it’s okay to need a minute, and it’s okay to need adjustments and accommodations. We’re all individuals, and no one is “perfect.”
I hope this article was helpful! Please reach out if you have any questions.
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Venus and Mars K9 provides in-home private dog training and group class for basic obedience, puppy socialization, trick training, dog sport foundations, leash reactivity training, and other canine behavior problems. We travel most frequently to neighborhoods such as Humboldt Park, Hermosa, Logan Square, Avondale, West Town, South Loop, Downtown Chicago, Ukrainian Village, Bucktown, Wicker Park, East Garfield Park, Fulton Market, North Center, Lincoln Park, Lakeview, Roscoe Village, Irving Park, Portage Park, Oak Park, River Forest, Forest Park, Pilsen, and Bridgeport.
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